Shama'il al-Muhammadiya, Book of Description Of The Joking Of Prophet of Allah ﷺ

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Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) relates, Messenger of Allah ﷺ once told him jokingly, Ya dhal udhu-nayn (O two eared one)
حَدَّثَنَا مَحْمُودُ بْنُ غَيْلانَ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو أُسَامَةَ، عَنْ شَرِيكٍ، عَنْ عَاصِمٍ الأَحْوَلِ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، قَالَ‏:‏ إِنَّ النَّبِيَّ صلى الله عليه وسلم، قَالَ لَهُ‏:‏ يَا ذَا الأُذُنَيْنِ،‏.‏

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References

• Shama'il al-Muhammadiya, Book of Description Of The Joking Of Prophet of Allah ﷺ, Hadith 225
Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) says, Messenger of Allah ﷺ used to associate with us and joke. I had a younger brother. Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to him, "Aba Umayr, what happened to the Nughayr?"
حَدَّثَنَا هَنَّادُ بْنُ السَّرِيِّ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا وَكِيعٌ، عَنْ شُعْبَةَ، عَنْ أَبِي التَّيَّاحِ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، قَالَ‏:‏ إِنْ كَانَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم، لَيُخَالِطُنَا حَتَّى يَقُولَ لأَخٍ لِي صَغِيرٍ‏:‏ يَا أَبَا عُمَيْرٍ، مَا فَعَلَ النُّغَيْرُ‏؟‏

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References

• Shama'il al-Muhammadiya, Book of Description Of The Joking Of Prophet of Allah ﷺ, Hadith 226
Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) reports, The Sahaabah asked, "O Messenger of Allah, you joke with us?" Messenger of Allah ﷺ replied, "Yes, I do not say but the truth."
حَدَّثَنَا عَبَّاسُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ الدُّورِيُّ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا عَلِيُّ بْنُ الْحَسَنِ بْنِ شَقِيقٍ، قَالَ‏:‏ أَنبأَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ الْمُبَارِكِ، عَنِ أُسَامَةَ بْنِ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ سَعِيدٍ الْمَقْبُرِيِّ، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ، قَالَ‏:‏ قَالُوا‏:‏ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، إِنَّكَ تُدَاعِبُنَا، قَالَ‏:‏ إِنِّي لا أَقُولُ إِلا حَقًّا‏.‏

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References

• Shama'il al-Muhammadiya, Book of Description Of The Joking Of Prophet of Allah ﷺ, Hadith 227
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) relates that a person requested Messenger of Allah ﷺ that he be given a conveyance. Messenger of Allah ﷺ replied, The baby of a camel shall be given to you.The person said, What shall I do with the baby of a camel O Messenger of Allah? (I want one for a conveyance). Messenger of Allah ﷺ replied, Every camel is the baby of a camel
حَدَّثَنَا قُتَيْبَةُ بْنُ سَعِيدٍ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا خَالِدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللهِ، عَنْ حُمَيْدٍ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّ رَجُلا اسْتَحْمَلَ رَسُولَ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم، فَقَالَ‏:‏ إِنِّي حَامِلُكَ عَلَى وَلَدِ نَاقَةٍ، فَقَالَ‏:‏ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، مَا أَصْنَعُ بِوَلَدِ النَّاقَةِ‏؟‏ فَقَالَ صلى الله عليه وسلم‏:‏ وَهَلْ تَلِدُ الإِبِلَ إِلا النُّوقُ‏؟‏

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References

• Shama'il al-Muhammadiya, Book of Description Of The Joking Of Prophet of Allah ﷺ, Hadith 228
Anas ibn Malik (may Allah be pleased with him) reports, A resident of the wilderness whose name was Zaahir (ibn Hiraam Al-Ashja'ee), whenever he visited Rasooluallah ﷺ he brought with him presents of the wilderness, vegetables etc., and presented it to Messenger of Allah ﷺ. When he intended to leave Madinah, Messenger of Allah ﷺ used to present him with provisions of the city. Once Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, "Zaahir is our wilderness, and we are his city." Messenger of Allah ﷺ was attached to him. Zaahir (may Allah be pleased with him) was not very handsome. Messenger of Allah ﷺ once approached him while he was selling his merchandise. Messenger of Allah ﷺ caught him in between the arms from the back in such a manner that he (Sayyidina Zaahir (may Allah be pleased with him)) could not see him. Zaahir (may Allah be pleased with him) said, "Who is this?, leave me." But when he saw with the corner of his eye that it was Messenger of Allah ﷺ, he straightened his back and began pressing it to the chest of Messenger of Allah ﷺ (For as long as he gained this opportunity it was better than a thousand gifts). Messenger of Allah ﷺ then said, "Who will purchase this slave?" Zaahir (may Allah be pleased with him) replied, "O Rasool of Allah, if you shall sell me, you will be selling a defective thing, and will earn a very little sum." Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, "No, you are not defective in the sight of Allah, but very valuable."
حَدَّثَنَا إِسْحَاقُ بْنُ مَنْصُورٍ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّزَّاقِ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا مَعْمَرٌ، عَنْ ثَابِتٍ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّ رَجُلا مِنْ أَهْلِ الْبَادِيَةِ كَانَ اسْمُهُ زَاهِرًا، وَكَانَ يُهْدِي إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم، هَدِيَّةً مِنَ الْبَادِيَةِ، فَيُجَهِّزُهُ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم، إِذَا أَرَادَ أَنْ يَخْرُجَ، فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم‏:‏ إِنَّ زَاهِرًا بَادِيَتُنَا وَنَحْنُ حَاضِرُوهُ وَكَانَ صلى الله عليه وسلم يُحِبُّهُ وَكَانَ رَجُلا دَمِيمًا، فَأَتَاهُ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم، يَوْمًا وَهُوَ يَبِيعُ مَتَاعَهُ وَاحْتَضَنَهُ مِنْ خَلْفِهِ وَهُوَ لا يُبْصِرُهُ، فَقَالَ‏:‏ مَنْ هَذَا‏؟‏ أَرْسِلْنِي فَالْتَفَتَ فَعَرَفَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم فَجَعَلَ لا يَأْلُو مَا أَلْصَقَ ظَهْرَهُ بِصَدْرِ النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم حِينَ عَرَفَهُ، فَجَعَلَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم، يَقُولُ‏:‏ مَنْ يَشْتَرِي هَذَا الْعَبْدَ، فَقَالَ‏:‏ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، إِذًا وَاللَّهِ تَجِدُنِي كَاسِدًا، فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صلى الله عليه وسلم‏:‏ لَكِنْ عِنْدَ اللهِ لَسْتَ بِكَاسِدٍ أَوْ قَالَ‏:‏ أَنتَ عِنْدَ اللهِ غَالٍ‏.‏‏.‏

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References

• Shama'il al-Muhammadiya, Book of Description Of The Joking Of Prophet of Allah ﷺ, Hadith 229
Hasan Basri (may Allah be pleased with him) says that an old woman came to Messenger of Allah ﷺ and made a request, O Messenger of Allah make Dua that Allah grants me entrance into Jannah.Messenger of Allah ﷺ replied, O Mother, an old woman cannot enter Jannah. That woman started crying and began to leave. Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, Say to the woman that one will not enter in a state of old age, but Allah will make all the women of Jannah young virgins. Allah Ta'ala says, Lo! We have created them a (new) creation and made them virgins, lovers, equal in age. (Surah Waaqi'ah, 35-37).
حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ بْنُ حُمَيْدٍ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا مُصْعَبُ بْنُ الْمِقْدَامِ، قَالَ‏:‏ حَدَّثَنَا الْمُبَارِكُ بْنُ فَضَالَةَ، عَنِ الْحَسَنِ، قَالَ‏:‏ أَتَتْ عَجُوزٌ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ صلى الله عليه وسلم، فَقَالَتْ‏:‏ يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، ادْعُ اللَّهَ أَنْ يُدْخِلَنِي الْجَنَّةَ، فَقَالَ‏:‏ يَا أُمَّ فُلانٍ، إِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ لا تَدْخُلُهَا عَجُوزٌ، قَالَ‏:‏ فَوَلَّتْ تَبْكِي، فَقَالَ‏:‏ أَخْبِرُوهَا أَنَّهَا لا تَدْخُلُهَا وَهِيَ عَجُوزٌ إِنَّ اللَّهَ تَعَالَى، يَقُولُ‏:‏ إِنَّا أَنْشَأْنَاهُنَّ إِنْشَاءً، فَجَعَلْنَاهُنَّ أَبْكَارًا، عُرُبًا أَتْرَابًا‏.‏

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References

• Shama'il al-Muhammadiya, Book of Description Of The Joking Of Prophet of Allah ﷺ, Hadith 230